Panic
by justkillingtime
Summary: Picks up where season 2 ended. Violets story, this will only be short 2 or three bits at the most.
1. Chapter 1

_" Yeah friends,"_ you say as she lifts the scalpel, as she rests the blade against your belly and begins to cut. You don't feel it, the pain, there is no pain, not the physical screaming pain which you imagined child birth would feel like. No there is no pain, not that kind of pain, just the aching in your heart, the pain of knowing what is about to come. "Be quick," you whisper still wanting to protect your baby. "You need to get him out quickly and keep him warm."

"I know," The woman who is holding you captive says. "I read it on the internet, I know what to do."

You want to roll your eyes, scream at her that she doesn't know what she's doing, that you can't learn how to deliver a baby over the internet but you can't, your head starts to spin, you're loosing blood and eyes drift shut.

*****

The screaming baby, it is your baby's cries which wake you. "Can I see him?" you ask the question but you already know the answer, the woman glares at you and holds the baby protectively against her chest.

"No, it's not your baby." She stands up and begins pacing in small circles.

"Please," You beg, but it's not going to change anything. You can't win. "Call an ambulance." It is a last ditch attempt to save yourself because you don't want to die, you're not ready to die. "Please."

"No," She holds the baby tighter against her and she begins to pick up her bag.

"Katie please, I don't want to die."

She stops moving and looks at you, she stares down at you and then reaches for the phone. For the briefest of moments you think she is going to do it but then she drops it on the floor. "It was nice knowing you Violet." She says and she walks away.

The front door slams and you feel the floor vibrate beneath you, the first sign that these drugs are wearing off, that you're getting feeling back, but you still can't move, you still don't feel the pain, just weakness. You let out a cry and turn your head, laying on the floor just inches away from you is the phone. You stare at it, begin willing it to move, willing your body to move. If you're to survive you need to reach it.

"Come on," you cry out in frustration after nothing moves. "Concentrate Violet." You let out a breath as slow as you possibly can; an attempt to get control of your body and you try again.

This time you move your fingers, a dull tapping noise fills your ears, progress but it is not enough. Some finger tapping isn't going to save you. You try again and then you feel it, pain. Never in your life have you been so grateful to feel pain; it grips your body with a force which in any other situation would be paralyzing. It doesn't paralyze you though it gives you the strength you need.

With one arm you reach out for the phone, your fingers wrap around it and you push a button, any button because you don't have the strength to dial. You listen to bleeping of the numbers and wait for the line to connect.

"Hey Violet," Pete's voice greets down the line and a sense of relief runs through you.

"Help me." You cry, "Please help me."

"Violet?" You can hear the concern in his voice. "Violet?"

"Help me," You say one more time, the words this time barely louder than a whisper and then you loose consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here is part two because it is written and I am terrible at sitting on things. Part three might take a bit longer it isn't written yet.**

"When is she going to wake up? It's been two days. You said she'd be awake by now." The sound of Cooper's voice seems to break into your head. "Is she going to wake up? You said she'd wake up." He sounds frantic and worried.

"She's going to wake up." Pete's voice, it is calm and level. "She just needs more time." And then you feel a hand rub against the side of your face.

"He's right Coop," The unmistakable drawl of Charlotte King. "She just needs more time."

"How much more time?"

"I don't know Coop, I don't know." There is sadness to her voice a shake and then you hear a shuffling of feet and a hand brush against yours. "She's going to wake up Coop."

"You don't know that." It is Cooper's voice again, much closer this time. You feel him lift your hand and begin gently rubbing it. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I should have been there." He starts to whisper.

"It's not your fault Cooper." Pete's voice soothes. "She's going to wake up." You feel him rub his finger along your cheek bone again and you let out a moan.

That moan is all it takes for the energy in the room to change. You hear more feet move towards you and for the first time they speak to you. "Violet can you hear me?" It is Pete's voice and there is just the hint of excitement to his calm tone. "Can you open your eyes, wake up?"

You let out another moan, unable yet to form a word and you try to open your eyes. You blink a few times and wait for everything to come into focus. The first thing you see is Pete, and then Cooper, they are standing on either side of you, and the relief is evident on their faces.

"That's it Violet."

"You're doing well."

They both say, as you start to move your tongue around it your mouth, as you start to try and speak, there is only one thing you care about. "Grasshopper." You say, "Did you find him?"

There is a pause and they both look away from you for a moment, just long enough for you to realize the answer.

"They're still looking." Pete says with a sad tone to his voice. "Everyone is looking, they've had Katie's photo on the news, at every air port, bus station, they're looking, they're going to find them."

"Okay," You say the word but you can't hide the sadness from your voice, the devastation. You didn't think you would ever see your baby but you didn't think you'd ever survive either, and the realization that you have and he is gone, it is a feeling you can't quite comprehend. You feel tears start to well up in your eyes, and all you want to do it curl up into a ball and sob. You want to cry out, melt away into nothing. The men on either side of you see your pain, they both want to help you but you look to Pete, it is his loss too, he can't know what you are feeling but he has his own pain. He reaches down and pulls you into his arms. He holds you as tight as he can and you begin crying uncontrollably. He whispers something to you, you can't understand him, and it doesn't matter, nothing he says is going to make you feel better. Your baby is gone and he can't change that.

You cry until you reach the point of exhaustion, until you start to drift back to sleep. You're almost ready to lay down again when the door to your room opens. You lift your head and look towards the doorway. Sheldon is standing there, his cheeks look red, flushed like he's been running. He sees you sitting up and smiles.

"Violet you're awake." He says running over and giving you a hug, he holds you in his arms for a moment and then steps back. You notice the look on his face he's smiling.

"Sheldon, what's going on?" The question comes from Pete.

Sheldon looks at all of you and takes a deep breath. "The LAPD just phoned, they think they've found them. "


	3. Chapter 3

_"They think they've found them." _

The words hit you with a force you're not expecting, for the briefest of moments something which might be relief runs through you then you realize what hasn't been said.

"Grasshopper is he okay?" There is a frantic tone to your voice.

"I, I don't know," Sheldon babbles, "I think so." As his words come out you grip Pete's hand tighter. "She's barricaded herself is some house, they want you to go down there."

"Me?" The word comes out your mouth but he's not looking at you, he's looking straight at Pete.

"No Violet, Pete."

Pete had to go, the police needed help, they needed someone who knew Katie, they thought it was best, they thought it was the best way to get through to her, to make her hand the baby over. You wanted to go, you knew Katie, you were her doctor, and she had your baby but they didn't want you. You were still too sick to leave the hospital and they thought you might make the situation worse. So Pete left and you stayed at the hospital.

****

The hours tick by painfully slow, you've lost track of how much time has past, every minute feels like an hour, every hour like a day. You feel exhausted and weak, you need to rest but you can't truly rest, not while your baby is out there all alone. "How long has it been?" You ask looking over at Cooper. He's sitting in a chair beside your bed reading a magazine.

"Three hours," He replies and he leans over and tucks a lock of hair behind your ear. "Go back to sleep, I'll wake you when they get back."

"I can't," You wish you could sleep, the wait would be so much easier if you could sleep. "Why aren't they back yet?"

"I don't know." Cooper puts down his magazine and stands up.

"It's taking too long." You close your eyes and feel tears starting to form. You've been crying a lot; all you seem able to do is cry. Cooper leans over and wipes the tears from your face.

"They're coming back." He tries to assure you then he tells you to move over. He climbs up on your bed and wraps his arm around. You close your eyes and relax into his familiar embrace. He's held you before, he's comforted you before. He knows what you like, what you need, he runs his fingers through your hair and you let out a sigh.

"Cooper," you begin but the rest of your sentence never comes.

"Just rest Violet," He whispers, "Pete's going to get him, he's going to bring him back."

"But what if…" You can't help but voice what your thinking, what's going through your head.

"They're coming back Violet." Cooper tells you, giving you a little squeeze.

"You," You want to argue with him but you don't have the energy for it, you don't have the energy to fight Cooper and his optimism.

"Just rest Violet," He tells you again, "They're coming back."

"Yeah," You let out the one word in an almost whisper. You're going to try and sleep but you already know you can't sleep anymore, there are too many things running through your head, too many thoughts, feelings, emotions. Everything is turning around inside you, all these emotions and feelings which you can't comprehend, which you can't understand. They twist inside of you forming a black hole, a deep empty space, you feel like your insides have been ripped out and you've been left with nothing. In a way that is true, you feel empty, and as you lay there you long to feel your baby inside of you again, you long to have that feeling back because if you had that back all of this could just be some horrible dream. But you know this is no dream, you know it is really happening and you cry harder. You bury your face into Cooper's chest and cry. He wraps his arms tighter around you and gently starts rubbing your back.

"They're coming back." He whispers to you but this time you don't say anything. It is his job to say that, as your friend it is his job to say that. "It is going to be okay."

His words make you cry more, you desperately want to believe him but you can't help thinking nothing is ever going to be okay. Never in your life have you felt this low, and there have been times in your life where you have felt low, you have been violated before but this is a whole other level of pain. This hurts in a way you didn't think possible, and then it hits, you were happy.

For the first time in a long time you had been happy, in the moments before this all happened you had been happy and then the thoughts start creeping in. Maybe that is why this is happening, you're not meant to be happy. Maybe this is some higher power getting back at you, punishing you for everything you have ever done. Punishing you… you try to shake the thoughts from your head and remember your own words.

_"I believe everyone is meant to be happy."_

That is what you told your patient, and up to two days ago you believed it, you really did believe everyone was meant to be happy but now, you can't help thinking maybe everyone isn't meant to be happy, maybe you're not meant to be happy, maybe you're not meant to be a mother. You never planed to be a mother; you didn't want to be a mother, not until the opportunity was thrown at you, until it was forced upon you. And now you can't help thinking you're being punished, punished for ever thinking that, punished for not wanting it enough.

"I'm sorry," You start whispering to yourself. "I'm sorry, please just bring my baby back."

"They're coming back." The words come out of Cooper's mouth again and he pulls you just a little tighter, "Just get some rest, you're going to need all your energy when they get back." He starts to rub the back of your neck with one hand and you relax again, you try to fall asleep.

For hours you seem to drift in and out of consciousness, waking with a start every time the door opens, you look for Pete but it's never him. Instead the rest of your friends and colleagues visit, they're happy to see that you're awake, that you're getting better but once the pleasantries are exchanged there is nothing left to say. They don't know what to say to you and you don't have the energy to make conversation. Instead you say you're tired and you go back to sleep, you let Cooper rock you back to sleep, and you wait for Pete.

It is some time in the evening when the door opens, when you open your eyes and see Sheldon walk into the room. "Violet there is someone here who wants to see you." He says as you're still trying to wake up, to focus. Before what he's said has even registered you see Pete walk into the door way and in his arms you see your baby.

"Pete!" You let out the cry and try to push yourself up in the bed. Cooper sees what you're trying to do and shoves some pillows behind you; he helps you sit up as Pete walks over carrying your baby.

"I'm sorry we took so long," he says as he reaches your bedside. "He had to get the all clear from the doctors down stairs before I could bring him up."

"Give him to me." In that moment you don't care that it has taken all day, you have him now, that's all that matters. "Give him to me," you say it again and hold out your arms.

Pete smiles at you and places your child in your arms. You hold him for the first time and you begin to feel a warm bubbly feeling building inside of you. The feeling is unfamiliar but you know what it is, it is love, and it is happiness. Pete leans down and kisses you.

"He's perfect," he tells you, "A perfectly healthy, eight pounds."

"Beautiful," the one word is all you can say, you're too caught up in the beauty of your baby.

"He's beautiful," you hear Cooper say and you feel him begin to stand. "I'm going to let you guys have this moment." He tells you and he starts to walk out the room, as he leaves he takes Sheldon with him leaving you alone with Pete.

Pete walks around the bed and sits in the place Cooper was in a moment earlier. He wraps one arm around your back and with the other he touches your sons head. The touch is all it takes for him to open his eyes. He opens his eyes and he stare up at you.

"Hello Grasshopper, I'm your mommy," you find yourself cooing to him. Never did you think you would ever talk baby but it seems to come naturally. He opens his mouth and makes the tiniest of noises. "You're perfect." You whisper to him and you look up at Pete, he seems to have a light about him which you've never seen and in that moment, there is no doubt in your mind who his daddy is? "He's yours," you whisper to him, "He's got to be yours."

"I know," Pete smiles as the light around him grows. "He's got Wilder written all over him. I knew as soon as I saw him."

"Yeah," you let out a sigh and look back at your baby. He seems so content; he has no idea what he's just gone through. "Pete," you begin. "Do you think we can do this? Do you think we can be a family?"

"I think we can," He smiles, and he lens over and kisses both of you. "I love you, I love both of you. We can make this work."

"Yeah, I think we can." You whisper and you lean back against his shoulder. "We can do this; we're going to do this."

"Yeah," Pete leans over and kisses you again. "We're going to be a family."


End file.
